She Called Him 'Little Fire'

 “Music can draw people out of their suffering, even if it’s just temporary respite”.

As an Australian songwriter, Nick Cave‘s quote above describes creating music as an art form, which is not only evidence for a musician’s suffering but also as a tool for spiritual healing. In Nick’s book, Faith, Hope, and Carnage, he further discusses how his songwriting process had helped him overcome the grief of his son, Arthur, who had passed at fifteen from falling off a cliff. 

Nick’s emphasis on creating imagery and symbolism of Arthur’s life and his relationship with his father made me reflect on other ways I have seen grief portrayed in art.

I was drawn to Tails Jekel’s recent work, She Called Him ‘Little Fire’. Jekel illustrated a family portrait for the passing of Gloria White, who was tragically murdered by her son, Aidan, last Halloween. This memorial represents Aidan’s lifetime struggle with schizophrenia and the love he received from his mother and sister, Allyson, throughout his life. This painting also comments on the failure of the American Healthcare system, which failed to give Aidan the support he needed for his schizophrenia.

Leading up to Gloria’s murder, Aidan had experienced a severe schizophrenic episode. During this episode, Aidan believed he had seen Allyson’s severed and decapitated body in his mother‘s home. Within this state of mind, Aidan had rationalized that his mother was responsible, as she was the only person present in the home at this time. Aidan believed he had to murder Gloria.

A few months later, Allyson reached out to Jekel and asked for a memorial piece to honor the life of Gloria White and to bring awareness to schizophrenia. In Jekel’s ten-part series on TikTok and short documentary on YouTube, they discuss Gloria’s life and Aidan’s struggles. Jekel implements many different images and symbolisms to create this bittersweet collaboration with Allyson.

One quote that struck me in Jekel’s explanation of his three-month-long process is:

“Once I realized that I wasn’t doing that great of a job with my memorial of Gloria, I taped off the bottom of the image so I can focus solely on her. I need to ignore the rest of the painting a while and develop her into a place where she’s a strong focal point. Once I have that out, I can go back and make the whole painting harmonious”.

I was severely moved by how Jekel had built a connection with this saddening tragedy. The imagery that moved me the most was Jekel’s’ depiction of a story between Gloria and Aidan. During an earlier schizophrenic episode that Aidan was experiencing, he believed there were noises within the walls of his bedroom. Gloria, as a demonstration of her endless love to Aidan, had slept in his room to determine if it was a noise from the air conditioning or another explainable phenomenon. Gloria had found that the room was silent the entire night. Jekel painted a scene in which Gloria slept in Aidan’s dark bedroom with cool tones (that contrasts the warm tones in the remainder of the painting).

The most evident symbolism, however, appears to be with the flames that are seen throughout the painting. Aidan’s name – which is the only name Gloria had picked for her children out of her children – translates to “little fire”. Flames are seen radiating around Aidan in an almost embracing warmth that demonstrates Aidan as human and as more than his condition. The meaning of his name also corresponds to the name of the painting that Jekel and Allyson decided upon together.

Returning to Nick’s previous quote, Jekel demonstrates how life can be celebrated, even if only for a moment, through a ‘glimpse into time’. Although Gloria’s death is mournful, there can be a short relief from grief through the celebration of her life and her children’s childhood through the love she built for Aidan and Allyson.

This piece is currently displayed for the Grand Rapids 2025 art competition. Jekel wishes that viewers could look at this piece and hopefully learn about the importance of treating mental health, especially early on in a person‘s life. I highly recommend anyone to watch the short series or even the full-length short documentary on Jekel’s YouTube, which includes interviews with other members of the White family.