Faith in America

    Doubt, I think, can be an act of devotion. Faith and doubt are both manifestations of a commitment to something. One is a negative commitment, meaning that a person is committed to questioning. One is a positive commitment, meaning that a person is committed to believing. Generally speaking, faith is more revered and respected by society and humanity than doubt. It is somehow viewed as more steadfast, more unbreakable, and more passionate. To exist in a state of doubt, however, one must be whole-heartedly committed to preserving the mysteriousness and uncertainty that is life. One must be devoted to a constant state of feeling insecurity, even if that insecurity is painful and lends itself to a sort of nihilistic view on life. To doubt is devotion to all facets of the human experience.

    In his book, "Faith, Hope, and Carnage," Nick Cave explores this concept through a dissection of his creative process while song writing. Nick Cave is an Australian music artist known for his significant contributions to the post-punk and alternative rock scene. He is well known for his role in the bands The Bad Seeds and The Birthday Party. Throughout his lifetime, he has used various musical projects to explore the themes of death, religion, love, and violence. His book, although not his usual medium, explored these themes as well. In the first few chapters of his book, these themes often appear as a testament to his faith or better yet, his lack thereof. He states several times that although he believes in a transcendental power and holds a certain reverence for the Christian idea of god, that doubt is something that has always existed within him. He also states that his doubt often gets in the way of him fully trusting the process of music making, as he believes that the meaning of a song is something that must reveal itself. Overall, Cave seems to view doubt as this sort of limiting power that prevents him from fully trusting and believing in the power of his music and creative process. I would like to offer a different perspective to the concept of doubt as it applies to creativity. 

In his film, "Dinner in America," film director Adam Carter Rehmeir employs his preferred medium as a means of exploring the concept of faith amongst many other themes. The film, a commentary on the monotony and restraint that is characteristic of American life, is about a singer in a punk band who slowly falls in love with a girl from the suburbs who he seemingly has nothing in common with. I will say here that what I write next will include spoilers from the movie, so please proceed with caution. I think that this film is a beautiful testament to doubt being an act of devotion, especially as a facet of the creative process. The two characters first meet when the punk singer is running away from the cops as he is a known and wanted arsonist. His character holds and displays a lot of disdain for the classic image of the American suburban family and spends most of the movie very pessimistic that there is any meaning in life. His character shuns the stability that is advertised as part of the American dream in exchange for a life full of uncertainty, anger, and feeling toward the system that punishes his devotion to what he views as freedom. The other character is a girl who has not been shown that any other life outside the American suburbs that she has grown up in is possible. People often call her slow and say that she is not all there. What we see, however, is that from the moment she meets the punk singer, she has faith in the life that he lives. He is everything she is not. He is completely unrestrained, passionate, and full of doubt. He is sure of himself but not the people and systems around him. She is restrained, self-conscious, and full of faith. She is unsure of herself, but never questions the people and systems around her until she meets him and sees that she can. These two energies converge in a single song called "Watermelon" that is composed of two very simple chords on the guitar. The two characters impulsively write this song together and allow its meaning to reveal itself to them as they create it. The punk singer is seen having faith in the other character while the other character is beginning to doubt everything in her life that she has always taken for granted, including her own preconceptions about herself. Coincidentally, she also displays more passion than ever before as she begins to doubt the narrative she has been given. The movie ends with her starting a punk band and the male character finally getting arrested and going to jail. Both characters are dedicated to the uncertainty and devoted to each other. They accept everything, including each other, as it is. They are okay with being met with disappointment, danger, and hurt because to doubt and question is to feel. Uncertainty is passion. Doubt is devotion to chance and creativity can be devotion to doubt. All parts of the creative process should be revered as they all have unbridled potential.